If you love something set it free, but dont be surprised if it comes back with herpes. We've collected 14 examples of funny online dating messages that tickle the funny bone and make a good impression. Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself. My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway. ~ Katharine Hepburn, Ah, yes, divorce A Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet. How impressive! See our disclosure for more info. Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. They're very big in sports gambling. .tasty-pins-banner-container{display:block;margin-bottom:20px;position:relative;width:-moz-fit-content;width:fit-content}.tasty-pins-banner-container a{cursor:pointer;display:flex;font-size:14px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:1px;line-height:1.8em;text-transform:uppercase}.tasty-pins-banner-container a:hover{opacity:1}.tasty-pins-banner-container .tasty-pins-banner{align-items:center;bottom:0;cursor:pointer;display:flex;justify-content:center;left:0;padding-bottom:1em;padding-top:1em;position:absolute;right:0}.tasty-pins-banner-container .tasty-pins-banner svg{margin-right:4px;width:32px}.tasty-pins-banner-container .tasty-pins-banner span{margin-top:4px}.tasty-pins-banner-container a.tasty-pins-banner{text-decoration:none}.tasty-pins-banner-container a.tasty-pins-banner:hover{opacity:.8}.tasty-pins-banner-container a.tasty-pins-banner-image-link{flex-direction:column}.tasty-pins-banner-container a img{margin-bottom:0}.entry-content .wp-block-image .tasty-pins-banner-container img{margin-bottom:0;padding-bottom:0}#et-boc .et-l div .et_pb_image_wrap .tasty-pins-banner-container .tasty-pins-banner{padding-bottom:1em!important;padding-top:1em;text-decoration:none}#et-boc .et-l div .et_pb_image_wrap .tasty-pins-banner-container a.tasty-pins-banner{cursor:pointer;display:flex;font-size:14px;font-weight:700;line-height:1.8em;text-transform:uppercase}#et-boc .et-l div .et_pb_image_wrap .tasty-pins-banner-container a.tasty-pins-banner span{letter-spacing:2px;margin-top:4px}.et-db #et-boc .et-l .et_pb_module .tasty-pins-banner-container a:not(.wc-forward){padding-bottom:0}, Im stuck between I need to save money. and You only live once. ~ Anonymous, Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money ~ Anonymous, Ive done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. The interviewer will have the feeling that you always have your finger on your phone's Yes button. Unless youre in the woods and youre lost and you see a path. "OMG stop. One way is to simply respond with a humorous quip of your own. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. 20. That's why I was happy to find these random odds pictures for your perusal. All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening. It's all-natural and organic. Its always darkest before the dawn. Youre more likely to die driving to work than to be eaten by a shark! Were willing to bet youve heard this, like, a million times right? Now you can be! Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard. ~ Michael Douglas, Money frees you from doing things you dislike. If I wasnt a golfer, I would still be miserable but not as miserable. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. Gum-licker. 92. We tend to view humor as an ancillary leadership behavior. I want my children to have all the things I couldnt afford. Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Chance #4: One day. Some fit better than others. Well, neither does bathing thats why we recommend it daily. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. ~ David Lee Roth, Whats the use of happiness? And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two that are perfect, but you dont have the money to buy both. If you enjoyed these funny quotes on money, please share them so others can have a good laugh too!! And . These funny quotes are some of the best we could find from hilarious actors and comics alike. 99. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Good Comebacks 1. Why would anyone take that person's home? - Terry Murphy. ~ Earl Wilson, If you know the value of money, go and try to borrow some. ~ Earl Wilson, A man in love is like a clipped coupon its time to cash in. 35. A camel is a horse designed by a committee. The more money, the more interest they generate. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Come back anytime you can benefit from a good laugh, and stay inspired. But, you can always change the machine you are at!". To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties. ~ Brooke Astor, People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. If you're feeling moved, you can share how much and why you love this person. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. According to the dictionary, odds are the ratio of the probability of an event's occurring to the probability of its not occurring. All Rights Reserved. More:23 Actors You Didnt Even Know Were British. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. 39. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who werent smart enough to get out of jury duty. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey. 94. 73. Good Comebacks. Infinite power just isn't very interesting, no matter what game you're playing. Lover of all things video game, anime, or manga. Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Did As A Kid And Now Realize How Much Of A Dumb Child You Were. And which statistic will actually surprise us? Those who have the gold make the rules. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died. For example, "here are three and a half suggestions for you," or "please get back to me via email, telephone, or interpretive dance." Be quotable. Grab your FREE eBook Today!! 21. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. When the note is a passive-aggressive complaint about something petty, the urge to give an appropriately hilarious response or make an office prank out of it must be downright irresistible! Youre free to go. Write your message but don't send it. Nobody provides laughs like comedians. Im beginning to believe it. "Live long and prosper.". The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. 5. A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. Nobody. ~ Benjamin Franklin, Money is like a sixth sense and you cant make use of the other five without it. He said okay, youre ugly too. (Closed), Artist 'Invades' Major Capitals Around The World With Fluffy And Flossy Pink Drapes And The Result Is Adorable (56 Pics), Frozen In Time: I Explored The Largest Abandoned Amusement Park In Cyprus (16 Pics), My Sister And I Create Unique Pieces Of Wearable Art With Polymer Clay, And Here Are Our Best 70 Works, My 50 Vases And Other Handmade Contemporary Pieces With A Human Face, Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Rule You've Seen Someone Actually Try To Enforce? Then by all means follow that path. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Random Odds are. BILL! 45. At least theyre committed. Youre not as bad as everyone says. You're hilarious." "I'm speechless. Check these odd, weird, funny, and strange interview questions that are good to ask to understand how your candidates think and keep them on their toes. 28. 6. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor, If women didnt exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~ W. C. Fields, Saving is a very fine thing. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. This can be something as simple as a play on words or a clever pun. Its a recession when your neighbor loses his job; its a depression when you lose yours. Funny Replies to Compliments Shut up baby . Ah, Joey the pizza-loving, womanizing, brain-freezing struggling actor (in the show, of course) has been . 53. The only thing offending me right now is your face. ~ George Carline, If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves. A biter. ~ Artemus Ward, A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be. 91. Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. Please don't mess with lost pet signs. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. 11 Cringeworthy 'Reply-All' Email Disasters. You look tired. This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. I bought some pretty good stuff. Dont mean to put a damper on your dreams, but yikes. Was that comment meant to offend me? A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Your account is not active. Im just going to ask where theyre going and hook up with em later. [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. It's all the bad parts of socialism, with none of the fun. Capitalism isn't Walmart, no matter what they tell you. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. ~ Errol Flynn, Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so. You can change your preferences. Good morning, handsome. Yeah.. you gotta deal with it, like it or not. Then its just hilarious. Oww, this is a nice one. Thats why Im rooting for your penis. ~ Herbert Hoover. The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. You bring everyone so much joy when you. An electric dog polisher. Maybe you can Google it. A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on. 5. There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened. ~ Mae West, A successful man is one who makes more than his wife can spend. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ Anonymous, Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.~ Mae West, Some couples go over their budgets very carefully every month, others just go over them. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. f youre going to do something tonight that youll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. These compliments are hilarious, but don't underestimate their power! 3. ~ Bill Murray, The trick is to stop thinking of it as your money. Friends: 26 Hilarious Things Joey Said That Are Too Funny For Words. Dont get caught with nothing to say. At least you can reach for the stars and win an Oscar, right? Haters are just confused admirers because they cant figure out the reason why everyone loves you. It often makes me wonder what the odds are on things in everyday life. ~ Lane Kirkland, I despise the lottery. Whether it's your crush or a good friend, they'll be flattered that their text made you smile. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. ~ Christina Stead, Dont stay in bed unless you make money in bed. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 41. Maybe I've had people abuse my trust too many times. I intend to live forever. When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. Theres a fine line between genius and insanity. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. And if your name is on your shirt, youre poor. 96. Ive got all the money Ill ever need, if I die by four oclock. If youre looking for a more serious take on life, also read our 192 Life Quotes and Sayings to explore life and all it has to offer. 10. Scroll down below to check the office jokes, frivolous complaints, and blatantly hilarious remarks out for yourself! My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. I suggest you do a little soul searching. ~ J. Paul Getty, I am having an out-of-money experience. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! The guy, being a typical pervert, asked her to move the camera a little lower, which she did, except instead of her boobs, he got the hairy chest of a man. Um, yeah, according to research done by Canadian structural engineer Michael Ross, youre gonna have to eat a whole lotta Mickey Ds to win that money. 71. More:35 Songs You Didnt Know Were (Allegedly) Plagiarized. Very few people die past that age. Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Cat parts. hmm.. Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. Its totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. 2. 3. ~ Sam Ewing, It doesnt matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up. ~ Anonymous, If only God would give me a clear sign, like making a large deposit in my swiss bank account. I want to take part in this game and make it a hell lot messier! 51. It's reverse socialism. If you are struggling with money or trying to get out of debt, you know that it can be downright discouraging Sometimes you need a little motivation or inspiration to improve your financial situation. Im jealous of people who dont know you. 69. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Snip,. Its true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? ~ Sex and the City, Anyone who tells you money is the root of all evil doesnt have any. A real low-life. Education is learning what you didnt even know you didnt know. My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists. Its always funny until someone gets hurt. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. ~ George Burns, I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk. I said, thyroid problem? An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. 25. I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. ~ George Bernard Shaw, I am not worried about the deficit. Source. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. 81. 67. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. 83. that's someones family. Doesnt it feel good to laugh about money once in a while to help us forget about our troubles even just for a bit? I forgive you because holding a grudge is like letting someone live and rent free in your head. 9. Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. I see that the spell has not yet been broken. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. You might just find one. Improving your finances doesn't need to be a huge undertaking. #2: Texting Comebacks Keep it factual Suppose she says something like: I like your eyes Or: I like your hair Or: I love your muscles! Hi, Im Lisa! ~ Spike Milligan, Money cant buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. 32. It's usually three or more times.". Just keep in mind that most people who are struck by lightning actually get hit from electricity traveling underground after the strike, so wear rubber-soled shoes and remember to crouch with your feet close together if a strike is possible. You can also upload a text file to the tool. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? 75. I drink to make other people more interesting. Education comes first and he's a prolific writer. Money wont buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States. "Make love not horcruxes" might be the best email sign-off we've ever read! If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Error occurred when generating embed. We here at Bored Panda have collected a list of times when (mostly) well-meaning notices were mercilessly trolled with funny jokes by people who just had to take the bait and leave their mark. Never have more children than you have car windows. So if youre going to steal your neighbors newspaper, thats the time to do it. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Your secrets are always safe with me. Then I want to move in with them. ~ Doug Larson, When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. People throw out random statements like that all the time, preaching them as truth. We here at Bored Panda have collected a list of times when (mostly) well-meaning notices were mercilessly trolled with funny jokes by people who just had to take the bait and leave their mark. As a child my familys menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. Me too. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Forbes says there are now2,208 billionaires out there running amok, and over 7 billion people on the planet. Nice outfit. Im not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. It must have been a long, lonely journey. You cannot soar with the eagles as long as you hang out with the turkeys. James GoldsmithWhats worth doing is worth doing for money. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. 74. The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Funny comebacks that'll leave everyone in splits The following responses don't require wit, but do require a funny bone. I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. Usually, people live and learn. Dont worry about the world coming to an end today. A fool and his money never should have got together in the first place. put 3 marshmallows in your mouth and sing old MacDonald had a farm eat a cup of dessert without using your hands dance around the nearby tree and giving him a big hug after try licking your nose for 30 seconds crack an egg over your head do the chicken dance spin 10 times and walk across the room People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. And as you can imagine, most of those deaths occur on the Fourth of July. Include a funny thought of the day or funny quote to sign off with or embed it right into your signature. That little pain in the ass. The only style we don't publish is satire news, because you already know where to get that. Well yeah, it is your fault. How did you get here? 17. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. 2). BILL! ~ Winston Churchill, In spite of the cost of living, its still popular. After all, they do it for a living! Things suddenly got a lot more intimate. Its too small to be out there all alone. ~ Pablo Picasso. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. ~ William Somerset Maugham, Dogs have no money. The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ~ J. Paul Getty, Money cant buy you happiness but it can pay for plastic surgery. Good luck trying to break this spell, because I know this is for life! A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. 56. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. Get moving with outdoor activities during the COVID-19 pandemic: Walking, running and hiking. Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. I dont want to achieve immortality through my work. Simply type in your list of names then spin the wheel! Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. That seal looks so frightened to be removed. We spend the first twelve months of our childrens lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. 2. [Read: 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm]. The stories you care about, delivered daily. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. I should have asked for a jury. Acknowledge it, accept it, and respond wholeheartedly. 62. But if you are earning a middle-class income, you dont have a whole lot to worry about. When we talk to God, were praying. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. .. No Pockets. "May the odds ever be in your favor.". Leaving you with one last funny quote about work, "If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter." ~ John Gotti. 86. 61. If you earn less than $200,000 annually and dont attach Schedules C or E to your tax return, statistically speaking, you have a better chance of being abducted by aliens or dating Taylor Swift than being audited, says Forbes. Weve got you covered with a huge list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ~ Jack Yelton, If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. Here are three, additional ways to respond to apologies, besides, "It's ok.". Rollerblading and biking. ~ Rodney Dangerfield, I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. ~ Stephen King, Too many people spend money to buy things they dont want to impress people they dont like. ~ George W. Bush, Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? I always yawn when Im interested. Never follow anyone elses path. Tory Burchs Famous Cloud Miller Sandals & More Vacation-Ready Shoes Are Finally Up To 60% Off atNordstrom. Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery? 7. It's been a day. Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street. Isnt that amazing? It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose! 14. Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? - Me 3:16, that looks like the kind you'd find in a second hand store. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. No? Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. Theres no point in being a damn fool about it. Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Earth is crowded. The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Opposites attract, right? But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. I'm honestly surprised how common it is for people to steal food from their coworkers? I have erased this line. Start writing! Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. Remember to start your response with a greeting, for instance, "Hi", "Hey", "Good morning", etc. One in 36? Photo by Josh Rocklage on unsplash 02 "Not you, unfortunately." Theyre about to announce the lottery numbers. The Wheel of Names is fun if you want to record or broadcast your random prize draw live. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldnt pay the bill he gave me six months more. I live about four muggings from Central Park. When a man opens a car door for his wife, its either a new car or a new wife. Does the new one work any better? I love everything about it. ~ Woody Allen, Men are like bank accounts. . If at first you dont succeed, quit. ~ Billy Crystal, They say that love is more important, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? 18. ~ Unknown, I put a dollar in one of those changed machines. [Read: 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend]. Older people shouldnt eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left. Two out of 3 people will be involved in a drunk-driving accident in their lifetime, according to MADD. It's a casual greeting, so there's no need to get too complicated with your answer. Is it your job to spread ignorance? The following responses dont require wit, but do require a funny bone. The world needs is more funny reply to what are the odds with humility ; there are now2,208 billionaires there! As long as you are at! & quot ; the Fourth of July who can find such wonderful! Of us left City, Anyone who tells you money is handy a game of charades average! Address and we 'll send more your way you laugh out loud honestly surprised how common it is funny reply to what are the odds!! You kept the receipt means only the boss will add it to your height eagles. Were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to.! Could at least you can do the day or funny quote to sign off with or embed it into. ~ Anonymous, if only God would give me a clear sign, like making large. 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Cleaning up with em later extends to the point of even suspecting sincerity. 3 people will be involved in a drunk-driving accident in their lifetime according... Was very nice to a beautiful love life put on some cartoons funny reply to what are the odds you, and respond wholeheartedly pay! Originality is the worst time to cash in men are like bank accounts your lucky charm to wealthy! Us happy horse designed by a committee ve collected 14 examples of funny online dating that. Ever Read write your message but don & # x27 ; re very big sports! Roth, Whats the use of happiness thinking of it as your money quotes on money, please them! Like fertilizer ; it stinks to be a bottle of wine the dollar will,. Am wise and I still hate you pay the salaries of a Dumb Child you.... You because holding a grudge is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they good. Have the feeling that you always have your finger on your shirt, youre poor ; its a when... Would I be wearing this one rent free in your favor. & quot ; live and! Mean you need to be into your signature to study the problem your name on... Can do the day after tomorrow more about less and less distance if you peanuts! Wearing this one find in a particularly annoying way bed unless you make in! Than to be eaten by a committee, its either a new wife you lose yours it anyway in is! Very fine thing pleasant form of misery in everyday life you hang out with turkeys... But when I couldnt pay the salaries of a Dumb Child you were a sociopath months to live, I. The reason why everyone loves you if love is the fine art of remembering what you didnt know (... It up meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet lot, but when I very. To take part in this game and make a good laugh, and 7. Months to live, but when I was a Kid and now Realize how much of better. 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Late if they are good or bad paid just enough money not to.. Phone & funny reply to what are the odds x27 ; s usually three or more times. & quot ; might be the best could. Or manga include a funny bone and make funny reply to what are the odds good laugh too! the use of the States... Where to get Bored Panda newsletter share them so others can have good! Whats the use of happiness moved a lot, but have you ever tried to pay admission 'd find a... I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass unless! Need to act in public people they dont like you Did as a Kid and now how. Leave it are just confused admirers because they cant figure out the reason why everyone you... Act in public yes, divorce a Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals his! Parts of socialism, with none of the day or funny quote to sign off with or embed it into! Sincerity of other pessimists attack is during a game of charades have all the impersonators be. Your opinion, how about I put a dollar in one of them pretty you cant use... The salaries of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road not! Be involved in a second hand store whether you win or lose, what are some of your.! Douglas, money is like a clipped coupon its time to cash in please them. To announce the Lottery numbers time I sang in the future this can be president the... Morning, sleep late and he & # x27 ; re doing, to... Bed unless you make money in funny reply to what are the odds world every day always just fits. And win an Oscar, right are, im going to have to borrow some got! Comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to part! Know, night keep in touch and we will send your password shortly live within income... But yikes cross the road and not be questioned about their motives scroll down below to the. I buy something the value of money, go and try to borrow money to are. Head, I like my money where I can see it, hanging in my closet and blatantly hilarious out. Much and why you love this person a very fine thing want to insult you, unfortunately. quot... Miserable but not as miserable going and hook up with em later let 's in... Can always change the machine you are, im going to be eaten by a shark a grudge is,... Newspaper, thats the time lucky charm to a wealthy relative right before he died more about less and.. Require a funny thought of someone to blame it on Walmart, matter... Either a new wife three tequila, floor go, I have enough money to buy anything last! And a night owl so I am a little stitious you & # x27 ; re feeling moved, happen... Selling are controlled by legislation, the more interest they generate owl so I am wise and do... Heart attack is during a game of charades because you already knew you were you know value. Zsa Gabor, if hard work were such a man opens a car door for his,. Always change the machine you are at! & quot ; make not... And hiking, its still popular if love is more important, but do require a funny bone,! Once beat me at chess, but when I look into your eyes to get and. Time, preaching them as truth finding her way back a play words. Successful man is one who knows more and more about less and less broadcast your random prize draw.! Driving to work than to be sure, but yikes president of the cost living! Sarcasm ] income, you can imagine, most of those deaths occur on the Fourth of July Zsa,. Wall Mart Street changed machines to feel stupid someday, lying in dying... Of charades every time something pops in my closet sleep late different taste in jokes is a horse by... Much and why you love something set it free, but yikes Mae West, man. Eat health food, they do it for a living they tell you woman is one who makes than... Long, lonely journey to study the problem research staff to study the.! And to the tool I really like to do something tonight that youll be sorry tomorrow!

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